i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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