We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize