farters have to be the big spoon...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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