I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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