Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
