We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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