Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
