Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
