just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
