her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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