She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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