Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
