Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
home. puking in laundry basket.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
