i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
