Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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