i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just high enough for therapy.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
