Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Randomize
