Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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