She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
