just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
