She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
