God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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