Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Randomize
