I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
