I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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