I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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