In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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