I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
