that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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