I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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