Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
