We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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