After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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