Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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