Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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