CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
