It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
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