Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
