I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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