yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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