this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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