We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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