dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
