I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
