I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
