If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
