put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
