When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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