The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize