We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Success! We fucked roommates!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
