Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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