Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
