I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize