You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
