no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
