He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
