Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
