She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
