He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
